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10 Things to Give Up in Exchange for Happiness.

I’m told happiness is a choice.

Unfortunately we complicate our lives to the point of being unable to recognize happiness when it appears before our eyes.

So how to clear the slate?  Here are 10 things you’ll need to give up in exchange for your happiness.

1.  Give up caring what other people think of you.  I know it seems counter intuitive as we humans are primal pack animals that don’t want to be cast from the village; but spending time worrying what others think, is a waste of energy.  You’ll never please everyone and it’s none of your business what others think of you.

2. Give up trying to please everyone.  Unless you’re living life to the beat of your own drum, your tribe won’t be able to find you.  Be the best version of YOU you can be, and you’ll naturally attract in the people that are supposed to surround you.

3. Give up participating in gossip.   100% of the time, those sharing gossip with you will gossip about you.  Believing gossip is like gambling everything on a horse sight unseen.  It’s naive.

4. Quit worrying.  Where thoughts go, energy flows.  Worry is investing time and energy in something you don’t want to have happen.  Learn to let go and trust.

5. Let go of insecurity. When we take ourselves too seriously, we think everyone else does too.  There is one version of you on the planet.  Be it, own it and quit worrying about it. No one really cares or watches you that closely.

6. Stop taking everything personally.  Truth is, most people are too consumed with their own life to really consider what you’re doing. As my 1st boss said so well: “the world doesn’t revolve around you.  Most people’s reactions have nothing to do with you, so let it go”.

7. Give up the past.  We’ve all been hurt, we all had parents that made mistakes and we’ve all been through hell. You didn’t listen to your parents when you were younger, so why are you still listening to their voices in your head right now?  Every experience in life has taught you something or made you stronger.

8. Give up spending money on what you don’t need in effort to buy happiness. Living simply allows the space for life to flow.  We complicate our lives by spending too much money and filling our home with “things”.  Less is truly more.

9. Give up anger.  Anger burns a hole in the hand of the person still holding on to it.  Move it out once and for all.

10. Give up control.  Control is an illusion, as we live in an out of control world.  Learn to embrace the new and welcome change; otherwise you’ll grow old through your own rigidity. Learn to let go.


Photo via photo credit: Darwin Bell via photopin cc


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10 Responses to “10 Things to Give Up in Exchange for Happiness.”

  1. Sarah April 16, 2014 at 11:36 AM #

    This is a wonderful list that I think needs to be seen everyday by everyone! I hope you don’t mind, but I’d love to share this on my blog and make a graphic out of each bullet point (I will be sure to give all credit to you and your site!). Thanks for the awesome motivation to be better!

    • Tamara Star April 21, 2014 at 11:32 AM #

      Hi Sarah, If you give credit to Tamara Star and that’s fine by me. I’d love a copy however. Can you email it to me at
      Thank you for reading.

  2. Sue Van Raes June 11, 2013 at 4:11 PM #

    I NEVER get tired of reading this, Tamara. It’s a bookmark that I return to constantly. Thank you.

    • tamara June 11, 2013 at 9:22 PM #

      I love that you even stopped by to read it Sue! That makes me smile. xo

  3. Joe June 8, 2013 at 11:42 PM #

    Tamara… very sound straight forward advice. Thanks

  4. Renée June 7, 2013 at 4:02 AM #

    To the point, true and unsentimental – just what you want to take note of! I plan to read this every day with morning quiet time – thank you!

  5. Myka June 6, 2013 at 12:06 PM #

    Tamara, love these tips! All are sooo good. Not taking things personally and not gossiping are two that have totally transformed my life, and I am so much freer because of it. One I’m focused on now is not trying to please everyone. Gotta say no, in order to say yes to what we really want. Thanks! Love, Myka


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