Changing is like shaking up one of those jars filled with sand and water.  Before you decided to change, everything seemed calm and the water was clear. You knew where the sand was and it was clear where the water stood.

But when we start to make an effort to change, it’s as though we’ve taken that jar and shaken it millions of times.  There’s no telling where the sand is, and there’s no clear water in sight.

Everything is cloudy.  We’re lost.  We can’t seem to find our way or remember why the heck we even tried in the first place.

But these are good signs.

When you’re in the process of changing, you’re going to fall back into old patterns, especially when you’ve been propelling forward so quickly. You’re going to lose your way and wonder why you’re trying in the first place.

So, here’s my reminder for you:

Old stuff will come up.
What matters is you recognize them as old patterns. You are awake and aware now.
Before, you let these patterns run you- and you let them run you blindly.
Now you see them.
And THAT is something to celebrate. Trust this.
Be easy on yourself. Take a bath. Go for a walk. Do yoga. Move the energy.
As they say: this too shall pass.
Stuff will continue to come up. Some dysfunctional patterns never leave. Recovering Alcoholics still want to drink, but they don’t. 
The difference between winners and losers isn’t that patterns stop coming up. It’s that we don’t buy into them. We don’t let them run us. We look them in the eye and we say: fuck you. I see you clearly, and you don’t run me anymore.
Then we choose differently.

Trust this.
I believe in you.

Image courtesy of with-accusing-eyes.