How can this particular 4 letter example pack so much punch?
Whether it’s a religious text, spiritual advice book, motivational seminar, or educational tool; all teach the same lesson: The power of the words we choose have a major effect on our lives.
Combine our words, our partner’s words and the history of a relationship and we’ve got one slippery slope of communication to navigate. Often it’s not even current words that have us tangled up and in conflict, it’s past words and arguments that never cleared and never went away, that continue to tie us up and strap us to yesterday.
Science has proven that words, music and intention have a profound affect on water. The actual structure of a water molecule is changed in the presence of different words and phrases. Here is a fascinating short video on this subject:
What’s most interesting to note is the human body’s made up of 86% water at birth, and over 63% as an adult. If words really do affect water, then we’re not only emotionally affected by words, but physically affected as well.
Years ago I read “The Secret Life of Plants” which was about the effects of our thoughts and words on plants and animals, even when we’re not in their presence. Both plants and animals were subjected to positive and negative thoughts at a distance and measured throughout the process. What struck me the most from that book was the realization that we too are made up of those same plant and animal materials that are affected by words and thoughts.
Words not only affect us deeply, but can also create wounds and take root. Even going through the process of apologizing and seeking to understand what happened from words of the past, can hold tremendous weight on our emotional state in the present.
Sloppy fighting and communication with another person can throw words that hurt into our hearts, our emotional bodies and worst of all, our cellular bodies.
Consider even the words you run on that never ending tape in your own mind; frightening isn’t it?
So why do it?
We know when we’re about to hurt the ones we love or even ourselves, and yet we still do it; even though we know the emotional impact of our words, we say them anyways. Why do we let our anger and our fear override logic and create damage that will last far longer than the argument or situation at hand?
Because it’s a lazy habit based on not stopping to think about the outcome we desire. Happy relationships, long-term clients, job security, continued respect, solid friendships? All are outcomes that can be forever changed by an emotional response.
Trying to find the solvent that will dissolve the aftermath of sloppy words is something that couples, co- workers, family members and communities struggle with around the world. Words start wars, bring people together, and break lovers apart.
Breaking the habit of swinging the large “word sword” is something we must commit to if we want peace in our lives.
Taking a breath, considering what outcome we truly desire and breaking the urge to respond from emotion is a habit worth forming.
Have you ever noticed the word nestled in the word s w o r d? Coincidence? I don’t think so.
So what’s my 1 step to improve communication? Taking a breath, considering what you truly want in the end and breaking the cycle of reaction forces your hand in putting down that sword and having the future you truly desire. Ask yourself: What do I truly want from this relationship or situation? Keeping that desire in constant focus is your ticket to freedom.
Images courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net. Gold sword from farconville, silver sword from vudhikrai.